good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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