I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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