I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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