He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
