Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
