I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
