he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Randomize
