the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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