Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
