Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
