i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
