when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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