THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
