This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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