Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
