I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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