Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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