Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
