How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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