haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's shark week go big or go home
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize