Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
