I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
