mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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