wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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