Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize