Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
