I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
