I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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