You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
