I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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