If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
