opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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