Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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