In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
