I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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