i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
