susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
