I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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