I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
