Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
