yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
