Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
