My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
