a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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