super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
