his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
