porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize