You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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