i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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