so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
