Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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