You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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