Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I showed him my bush... on skype.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
