I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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