I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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