That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
