I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
