I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
