dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
