I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
