He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
