You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All the doctor said was why
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
