her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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