I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
